Being Single and Senior

United States Census Bureau data shows the majority of us will end up being senior and single for at least part of our Safe Retirement. The 2009 census numbers state that of those aged sixty-five and older 29% are widowed and 9.6% are divorced. Four percent have never been married which means over 40% of those over sixty-five are living on their own and as people age this percentage increases.

Single and Senior - 

            Given the statistics I quoted above, being single for at least part of our retirement is a reality we might as well get ready to enjoy. After all, what’s the alternative? This is your life and with a little planning and effort these years will be the best yet.

            When you think about it, you aren’t ever really alone in life. You have family and friends and neighbors, and even strangers. People are all around you going through the process of life just like you are. By losing your spouse you aren’t any more alone than you ever were, you simply don’t have that person to be with anymore. You need other good friends. I’ll get into dating and finding a new love in the next section, here I want to discuss good habits and ideas for how to get the best out of being single and senior. Most of these are reiterations of what I’ve discussed in past chapters but they’re worth revisiting in this context.

            The best thing you can do for yourself as you age is to stay active and positive. Period. If you find yourself single and wonder how you’re going to get used to it, much less be happy again, get out of the house. Call up a friend, go to church, volunteer, take a kite flying class, it doesn’t matter what, just do it. This is how you will learn to thrive and it’s especially important if you’ve just lost your spouse.

            It may be difficult at first but you need to be disciplined. The more active you become, the easier it’ll be. Pretty soon life starts to take on an energy of its own and before you know it you’re back to enjoying life even though you’re single.

            Remember that you need to communicate about important matters with your family and heirs. If something happens to you and you don’t have a spouse or significant other to take care of things, who will? Do you want your kids sifting through piles of papers and sticky notes trying to find the password to your email?

            Keep a list of important information and let someone know where it is and what it contains. Consider the following:

Ø  Passwords for email accounts

Ø  Safety deposit box location

Ø  Power of attorney, both medical and legal

Ø  Estate planning documents including a living will and what type of funeral you want

Ø  Bank and brokerage accounts

Ø  Names and phone numbers of your closest friends

Ø  Instructions for what to do with your pet if you’re unable to look after it any longer

Also, as we get older it’s good to have someone to talk to about decisions we’re thinking of making. Seniors are sometimes the target of fraud and if you’re considering making a new investment, especially a large one, be sure and get a second opinion.

Get a second opinion on any major medical issue and make sure you involve someone else. This isn’t so they can tell you what to do, although if you value their opinion in these types of matters that’s fine, rather it’s so someone else will understand what choices you had and why you did what you did. It may never matter, but one day it might.

Discuss with your children what you want them to have after you die and make sure you put it in writing in your will.

The nut of it is, if you’re single make sure you involve other people in the important decisions and directions of your life. Then, get out and have fun!

THIS IS AN EXCERPT FROM THE UPCOMING BOOK, SAFE 4 RETIREMENT : THE 4 KEYS TO A SAFE RETIREMENT - FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @SAFE4RETIREMENT AND ON FACEBOOK


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Pursue Your Passion

“Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die,

Life is a broken winged bird

That cannot fly.”

-       Langston Hughes

For many, retirement over the past couple of decades has morphed into a dynamic dream-realizing landscape. No longer is it considered to be the end of a career and therefore life; now it’s a beginning, an opportunity to reinvent yourself and rediscover long lost pursuits and passions. Along with lengthening life spans come renewed chances to explore areas long forgotten.

Some retirees mix leisure activities with targeted business endeavors, often for the intellectual stimulus far more than any monetary benefit. In this sense it’s interesting how goals change. What we pursued in our youth—status, money, new mates; in other words, outward signs of success—now takes a back seat to a different set of priorities. When we get in line with what’s of real value to us, our energy can be redirected toward this new set of inner goals. Those that fulfill a deeper sense of self and purpose in the world we live in. The key is to recognize and let go of the old goals and values and to let in the new ones. To be true to our authentic selves which we now have the time to express and explore.

In order to weather the storms life flings at us as we age, it’s absolutely vital to understand and pursue what gives real meaning to our lives. We can be waylaid by health, family, economic recession—you name it and life can throw it at you. By doing what gives us a deep seated feeling of worthwhileness, it’s that much harder to dent the positive attitude and happiness that inevitably follows.

Consider the following in your route to pursuing your passion:

Ø  Face your fears, whether of criticism, poverty, old age, whatever.

Ø  Seek out people who are already doing what you want to do.

Ø  Ignore and avoid negative people.

Ø  Get rid of extra stuff in your life. It just clutters up what’s really important to you.

Ø  Stay away from people who drain your energy.

Ø  Exercise, meditate or pray, eat right, and get enough sleep—in other words, feel good.

Ø  Write down your goals.

Ø  Get the people you love on board with your pursuits.

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Resume Writing Skills - Resumes That Work

A very good friend of mine, Judith Lindenberger, is an expert on mentoring and preparing individuals for effective job placement. As more and more retirees move towards jobs in retirement and second careers, it's good advice to keep your resume writing skills up to speed, even for those in "retirement". It's my pleasure to include her advice on my blog.

Resumes That Work
by Judith Lindenberger

If you are looking for a job, writing a resume is one of the first steps you need to take. The goal of a resume is to get you in the door with prospective employers. And, you have about 30 seconds to grab the reader's attention.

As the former Manager of Staffing for a Fortune 500 company, certified career counselor, and board member of several nonprofit organizations, I have reviewed thousands of resumes. Based upon my experience, here are ten tricks of the trade for writing a winning resume.

1. Include an objective statement at the top of your resume which states your employment goal, types of organizations you have experience working for, and several strengths. The reason for including an objective statement is to immediately let the reader know that you are a fit for the job. Here is one example of an attention-grabbing objective statement: Results-oriented sales executive with 15 years experience in the oil and chemical industry. Strengths include managing amidst economic uncertainty, building diverse teams, and increasing profitability.

2. Tell not only what you did but how well you did it. By demonstrating your contributions in quantifiable terms, you separate yourself from the pack. For example: “Created a new sales program which resulted in a 25% in sales annually for 3 consecutive years” is more impressive than “responsible for creating a new sales program.”

3. Use action verbs like analyzed, created, developed, initiated, led, or researched. Imagine someone reading your resume quickly and think about the impression the words you choose will have on him or her.

4. You can add information about your education, accomplishments, special knowledge, or honors at the beginning or end of the resume. If it is recent or impressive, place it at the beginning; otherwise, it goes at the end of the resume.

5. Include your name, address, phone number and e-mail address so that an employer can get in touch with you easily.

6. Put your name and page number on each page (in case pages get misplaced or out of order). Try to limit your resume to no more than two pages.

7. Make sure your resume is spell checked and that there are no grammatical errors.

8. Do not include a photograph or personal information. Emphasize your credentials, experience and accomplishments.

9. Be honest about dates of employment and job titles. If you falsify information, and are found out, you could be eliminated from consideration or fired.

10. Get feedback from several sources about how attractive and easy-to-read your resume is before you send it out. Writing a terrific resume is worth the time invested. It could be your passport to a new job.

Judy Lindenberger is a leader in career counseling. She can be reached at 609.730.1049, info@lindenbergergroup.com or www.lindenbergergroup.com.

Living Longer and Happier in Retirement

Research has shown that seniors who continue to take an active part in their lives—those who don’t see retirement as an end but as a beginning—live longer and are happier. This is important information but also can be filed in the common sense box.

Having the ability to choose what we want to do with the rest of our lives is a gift and a privilege. It’s an opportunity that shouldn’t be weighed down by false expectations and belief systems.

Don’t buy into the stereotypes. Retirement now is about evolution and personal growth. It’s a time to utilize your new found freedom to explore your own belief systems and find peace and positive attitudes. Retirement will bring challenges. Life brings challenges and the longer we live the more of these we’ll experience. Some will hurt very much, like the death of a spouse or child. It’s called Life and retirement gives us the chance to learn to deal with freedom, loss, happiness, grief and many others from our emotional cornucopia.

Most importantly, listen to the facts. Stay busy, stay in touch with your loved ones, and enjoy life the way it was meant to be.

Dispelling Myths -

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

- Norman Vincent Peale

The myths we hear about aging are constant, almost universally negative, and, most importantly, just that, myths. According to dictionary.com, the definition of myth in the context we’re using here is, “an unproved or false collective belief that is used to justify a social institution.” Based on this, all we have to do to get rid of myths is to reveal the truth.

Let’s look at some of the most common myths for our purposes. Aging means:

- Being unhealthy, unfit, and tired

- Losing your marbles

- You are what your genes say you are

- Being grumpy

- You’ll never have sex again

- Losing power, being helpless

That all sounds terrible! What is this Golden Years jabber, anyway?

Hold on. Unclench your hands from your mouse, relax, stop gritting your teeth. Let’s look at these pesky myths a little more closely.

“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.”

- Robert Fritz

Being unhealthy, unfit, and tired. Absolutely this is possible in retirement, just as much as it’s possible during your prime working years too. As we know from our book, Safe 4 Retirement : The 4 Keys to a Safe Retirement, if you don’t look after yourself, get regular exercise and eat right, you can feel bad at any age. Society is getting healthier through education and a gradually changing collective lifestyle. This means chronic diseases occur later and are more easily controlled and treated. You can have an energetic, healthy, and active retirement if you choose to.

Losing your marbles. No, we won’t all end up like the cat lady example we all know. Sure, dementia and the gradual loss of our cognitive facilities occur, but there are ways to exercise your brain, just like you can your body. And new cures and treatments for the more serious diseases are on the horizon. Stay mentally active, do new things, go new places, and keep your marbles intact.

You are what your genes say you are. Genes do play a part, we all know that. Why else would both you and your uncle have the same uneven ear lobes or squinty left eye. However, we’ve also learned that genes aren’t everything. The proof is in and we can make a difference in our happiness and longevity by paying attention to our physical and mental health.

Being grumpy. Grumpy old men is a terrible myth and yet as a society we’ve embraced this image. The section in Safe 4 Retirement : The 4 Keys to a Safe Retirement on Mental Attitude is all about managing your mental health and positive attitudes. With proper attention to this crucial area you can be happier than ever as you finally get to fulfill your dreams and do what matters most to you. Amazingly, this time occurs during the last third of our lives. In fact, most say the very fact that death is nearer gives more value to the current moment.

You’ll never have sex again. Really? With the proliferation of drugs like Viagra, Cialis and the like? How about when you add a physically active life, healthy heart, and confident attitude? The data shows, when the lights go out, retirees aren’t just sleeping.

Losing power, being helpless. We’re living longer and healthier lives which means being creative and productive well into retirement. But as we age and things start to break down, mentally and physically, sometimes we do need to step back and let others help. The key here is to realize this is part of the process and we can’t do it all, all the time. Done right, aging is a beautiful and respectful process. Part of that means putting the ego aside. Yes, we’re self-sufficient for longer than ever before in the history of the human race. But allow others to help when you need it. It doesn’t mean being helpless, it means we’re all human.

The point with myths is most of them simply aren’t true and they cause far more worry and stress than they’re worth. The next time you hear one of the phrases like I’ve listed above, stop and think about it. Based on the ideas and steps presented in Safe 4 Retirement : The 4 Keys to a Safe Retirement, is aging really going to be that bad? Or might it, just maybe, be the time you’ve been working and waiting for all your life?

“Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.”

- Emily Dickinson